If you answered true to all of them, you would be right. They were all reported in the Tampa Bay Times on April 14, 2017 in a section entitled “Police blotter.” Parts of the article follow which has been edited due to its length.
POLICE: ST. PETERSBURG MAN DROPS OWN POOP INTO LAUNDROMAT WASHING MACHINE
A 57-year-old man defecated on the floor of a laundromat then dropped his poop into a washing machine, according to St Petersburg police. About 7:40 a.m. Saturday, a witness saw Michael Shannon poop on the floor of a laundromat at 343515th Ave. S. Shannon picked up the feces and pressed it into the detergent-loading compartment of a washing machine. The incident caused $475 worth of damage, according to Shannon’s arrest report
Man takes cookies with ‘dirty bare hands’
A Seminole man is accused of reaching over a display case at Publix, grabbing several cookies and eating them in front of the bakery manager. According to Largo police, a bakery manager at the store at 857 West Bay Drive saw Kane William Hanson, 34, reach over the display case and steal cookies about 230 p.m. Saturday. The remaining 60 cookies had to be thrown away because Hanson contaminated them with his “dirty bare hands,” an officer wrote in Hanson’s arrest report. Hanson told police he assumed the cookies were free.
Police pursue truck, then its naked driver
A rogue swimming pool service truck took Indian Shores police on a chase that ended with the driver running naked from officers, according to police. About 2 a.m. April 5, an officer approached a pickup truck bearing the name “Belleair Pool Supply” that he considered suspicious because he “knew there was no swimming pools worked on in the middle of the night,” according to an arrest report. At the wheel was Victor Ciaccta, 42, with his window cracked open. The officer asked him to turn off the engine and hand over identification. Ciacci said he was leaving, then sped away northbound on Gulf Boulevard from T76th Terrace, hitting the officer’s right leg in the process. As he sped from police, Ciacci drove over spike strips, damaged landscaping and eventually drove through a chain link fence at the former Wellington School campus, 8000 Starkey Road, his arrest reports say. Ciacci got out of the truck near the school and ran naked from police into a neighborhood.