Tag Archives: tsa

Time Does Not Matter to the Airlines UNLESS It Is Their Time and Money!

 It’s been a rough week and it’s finally Thursday, and you are looking forward to going home for the week.  You book the earlier flight home since it’s a lot better to get home at 9:30 at night than 11:30.  Like the good little traveler you are, you get to the airport two hours ahead of time only to discover that your flight has been delayed one hour.   That means you will now get home at 10:30.  Irritated you give your ticket and identification to the TSA agent.  You frown at him and he sends you to the line with the other TSA Pre-Check Rejects.  You take off your shoes and belt, and joke that next time you will wear a rope to hold your pants up.  The TSA agent is not amused and you are then checked for explosives.  You finally are permitted to leave, and you go to the gate only to see that your plane is now leaving two hours late.  Oh well, at least you will get home by 11:30.  You get some food, and then then back to the gate.  Now you discover that your plane is leaving three hours late which means getting home at 12:30 am – yes 12:30in the morning.  You complain to the agent at the gate asking to get on the late flight which will now get in one hour earlier than your flight.  You are told that plane is full.  You say to hell with this airline, and the agent says – “I don’t like your attitude.  Now go and sit down and wait like the other nice travelers.”  Finally, a few hours later you drag yourself along with the other passengers, like beaten dogs with your heads down, onto the plane.  One passenger says – “Last week I took this same flight and it was four hours late – I’m just happy to get home!”  An airline agent overhearing this man smiles at him, and looks at you and says – “Now that man has a good attitude.”  


A few weeks later you are in line at McDonalds to get something to eat, and you hear a man in front of you saying to the young lady at the counter – “What kind of business are you running here?  I have been waiting 2 minutes for my french fries.  I run one of the biggest airlines in the country.   I don’t have time to put up with your incompetence.  To hell with you!  I don’t need your food.”  Now I don’t recommend that you say this next time your flight is delayed – or you will be sent to TSA Jail!


Gobble, Gobble – Have You Had a Bad Day?

IMG_3561.JPGRemember Steve Martin in the scene at the rental counter in the 1987 movie Planes, Trains & Automobiles? He was at wits end and was trying to get a car at the rental counter. We have all had similar experiences and wanted to say just what Steve Martin told the rental agent. Today this is especially true when flying. Passengers are herded around like cattle from the minute you get to the airport. TSA agents direct you to the appropriate security lines. Don’t complain – just smile when they tell you that you have been selected for extra screening. Just smile when they say you have tested positive for explosives and must be subjected to even more screening. Just smile when you are assigned a middle seat at the back of the plane. Just smile when you are now greeted by your new seat mates – on your left is a missionary returning from working in the Ebola wards in Liberia and on your right is a representative from weight watchers who advises you that his goal is to lose 400 pounds in the next year. The plane takes off with you sitting in the lap of the man from weight watchers. The flight attendant finally arrives at the back of the plane with the food cart and you ask for a vodka tonic only to be told all of alcohol in the cabin has been sold, but they do have some gummy bears. You just smile passing on the gummy bears. Then you take out your IPad and show the smiling flight attendant the clip from the movie with Steve Martin. The flight attendant stops smiling, and when you get off the plane you are met by a group of TSA agents. You are told that you are now on the NO FLY list. You just smile and show them the Steve Martin clip as you are escorted from the airport.

For your convenience and future use the clip can be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWRxPDhd3d0